The pain and shame

The pain and shame of showing up alone

You can’t understand it until your body and soul was meshed into one with another in the name of love

The pain and shame

Weddings and funerals, parties and lunch dates

The pain and shame of showing up alone

Doctors appointments and surgery, recovery and holidays

The pain and shame

Of lying while smiling, protecting while crying, burning in the pit of your stomach because your value, time and efforts together cannot be matched to that of a stray dog.

The pain and shame

Of phone calls and texts that go unaswered and put on affection only when in want

The pain and shame

When a stranger decides if you get a yes or a no then laughs about it with your friends

The pain and the shame of showing up alone both at the dawn and dusk of your birthday

And now you look like pain and shame and somebody else must show up? For broken old you?

What soap does one use to scrub of the pain and the shame of showing up alone

Image Nigel Sibisi


Author: Mathunzi Macdonald

South African born Creative, writer. performing artist and educator. More about me on

2 thoughts on “The pain and shame”

  1. The pain and shame…
    Let the pain and shame be a scar not a wound…
    A scar reminds you that you were once wounded, but healed. You once experienced pain, but managed to move past it.
    Your scar reminds you of your power, the power to fight through pain and shame, and wear it as a reminder of the warrior you are.
    Soldier on my Love

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ohhhh Mathunzi. I enjoy your writing sooner much… Your block I’d addictive, I make time to come and I find myself spending the whole day. You draw my emotions in. I connect and see every picture drawn by the talent of your writing. Words fail me, you are amazing. An super amazing writter. I Stan!


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